Mah bonnie Shaggers ana her wee yin 'The Bruce'.

A joke far Cascadia. Cheers ta yo’ an yours!
~Boab

Lad an Lass
Thae young Scottish lad an lass war sittin onnae low stone wall,hauldin hands, gazing oot oer the loch. Far several minutes they sat silently. Thae finally the bonnie lass luiked ootae boy an says, "A penny for yae thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, ah woz thinkin'...perhaps it's a’boot time far a wee kiss."

The girdl bluished, then leaned oer an kissed him lightly oanae cheek. Then he bluished. The tae turned once a’gain ta gaze oot oer the loch. Minutes passed annae girdl spauk a’gain. "Nether penny far yae thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, ah woz thinkin' perhaps it's noo time a’boot time for a wee cuddle."

The girdl bluished, then leaned oer an cuddled him far a few seconds. Then he bluished. Then the tae turned once a’gain ta gaze oot oer the loch. After a while, she a’gain says, "Nether penny far yae thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, ah woz thinkin' perhaps it's a’boot time ya let me put my hand onnae yae leg."

The girdl bluished, then took his hand and put it onnae her knee. Then he bluished. Thae the tae turned once a’gain ta gaze oot oer the lock before the girdl spauk a’gain. "Nether penny far yae thoughts, Angus."

The young man glanced doon wi’ a furled brow. "Well,noo," he says, "my thoughts ara wee bit mare serious this time aye ya ken."

"Really?" says the lass innae whisper, filled wi’ anticipation.

"Aye," says the lad, noddin.

The girdl luiked awa innae shyness, began ta bluish, an bit her lip wi’ anticipation ootae ultimate request. Then he says, "Dae ye nae think it's a’boot time ye paid me the first three pennies?"

Aye, ben awa tae long aye no’ boot aye got ta story fer yae a’boot ae taupie rupert; wi thaet his mither a slecher, aye. One day he says tae his faither:
“Da! The day I saved 1 poond acause I wis rinnin efter ae bus instead o gang on it.”
“O ye eejit!” his faither says, “If ye hid rin efter ae taxi ye wid hae saved 10 poonds!”

Gritz?
Wee bonnie snuggs gies “gritz” sted o parritch; dinnae wot ta do’ aye no’ bluidy aits an daurt ta et! Crakie!

Brewery
Erder’d tis vessel the day far lautering. Figae 10 bbls be anoof, aye ya ken



McFinster Brothers right guid warkers, ta; timmer’d beams an clauted thae roost aboot tae moorns fer tae new wharf.



Welp be me taefiggle aroot tagan given thae hizzie gaun awa boot ta ken mair ettle wamefu’ o Gulliver’s Liverbuster, O aye! Oan I go.
~Slàinte Mhath, Boab

Ahwas oot’n a’boot las nicht aft I skelp aufew pints a’toddlin’ an dwam a’sang o Rabby Burns:

One Night As I Did Wander


One night as I did wander,
When corn begins to shoot,
I sat me down to ponder
Upon an auld tree root;
Auld Ayr ran by before me,
And bicker'd to the seas;
A cushat crooded o'er me,
That echoed through the braes

Cept I daurt see’d curmurring through the breas:

Oyi! Wad that be wee sleekit beastie ~ Master Bob? Fer if na Bob, maybe Kin o’Bob oot’n a’boot fer a’bit o’ar, aye!

I says tae Bob (o’Kin o’Bob):
“Hallo gude Bob-o’kin, wotyabeuptano’? Havin awe splef o’dram oan this fair nicht?”
Bot Bob (okob) sat a’star eyes afauld, no? Awh no’ he wos a warsl an olive tae is’ haddin’!
“Ah Bob-o’kin ya wee dafty, olives fer yer weans, daes nice! Gude oan ya an tae yoers.”

Tis a’fine bricht nicht it wos.
Slàinte, Boab

Hallohowarya!

Ah’m a’byke a’bleezing timmering thae brewery, teugh wark it is.

Thae dobber Cabana Boy ay’ says tae “Get aff yer erse ya auld weegie bampot an dae wark ohr dae ah huvv tae lamp yer coupon?” Aye! an awa a’feartie-cat he wuz girning a’gliff. Sheesh! “Aff wi ye an please yerself” ah says. Wot a’ jobby jabber!

Wee bonnie snuggs says tae Boab a’smiled “Mair space fer Boab”; right gude lasse that snuggs! Mair space fer tae brew wot Boab says; oan ah goe!

We’se whalpit ana warstl’d boot no’ we’re wearie billie pittin tiles oan thae wa’. Ah gute a sample far ye: Wotsyer know? Wale please:




Left ar Right?
~Slàinte Mhath, Boab

Hellohwoyadoin! Mah name’s Boab the Brewer. This be mah fam: Maw Shaggers an her wean ‘The Bruce’. We calls’m “Healin Coos” (Highland Cows tae yue); made in Scotland they are!

Buildin a brewery at Mrs. Blubridge's Grog Shoppe next tae Apple & Pears we are. Warkin wi McFinster Brothers’ strange, anna wi dowan taek ta faffin aboot!

Wee bonnie snuggs gies lemonade fer luinch. Aye, ana kippered “bagget”; wot tae fooksakes a bagget? Speak tae King’s English welye! Anna “moosh” taters wi bits an bobs I cannea figger, boot wotsits Bros says “go, eat”; oan I go ~ eat afuld brow, gude too.

Wee snuggs right gude lasse; tyme fer a saung:

A Red, Red Rose, by Rabbie Burns 1794

O my Luve's like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
O my Luve's like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare-thee-weel, my only Luve!
And fare-thee-weel, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' 'twere ten thousand mile!

~Slàinte Mhath, Boab